No.18: Why are we needing to make so many new friends?
tl;dr - instead of making new friends, why don't we put more effort into keeping our old/current friends?
Every time I see a podcast episode, book, newsletter, etc. giving advice on how to make new friends as an adult, I wonder why we’re all supposed to be making new friends! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love all of the new friends I’ve made as an adult. They’re some of my very favorite people in life! However. A lot of the articles state how lonely Americans are, especially after the pandemic. Apparently, we’re not going out, we’re not meeting people, we’re increasingly isolated… and that leads me to question why making friends is presented as the only solution to the problem.
Why aren’t we (as a collective society) prioritizing maintaining and appreciating the relationships we already have?! There are also many discussions happening on outgrowing friends, how to know when to move on from a relationship, etc. While some relationships fade away due to physical distance, life changes, emotional growth/maturity, and general changes, many relationships can and should be sustained for the benefit of anyone!
Relationships undoubtedly take effort. However, maintaining a (healthy, happy) previously existing relationship is much easier than meeting and growing a brand-new friendship! I wish more conversations about friendships started there.
Life Updates
😃 Everyone is healthy again this week - phew! Thank goodness for antibiotics and pain relievers and all of the things.
💻 I might be working again, starting this week? It all seems a bit up in the air but it would be a big change and adjustment for me and our household! We’ll see what happens. I’m looking forward to a new challenge (at my previous job) and we’ll see where it takes me. The plan is for me to work part-time, and I remain optimistic that I can do all of things plus work. What could go wrong?!
🛶 I went through quite the emotional roller coaster on Friday. I was bidding in a silent auction and was told that I won two items: a kayak rental (even though I don’t like kayaking) and pole dancing lessons (even though I have no interest in learning to pole dance). So why was I bidding, you might ask? Well, I’m competitive and it was a fundraiser to help the rescue organization who rescued Nyla! When I won both prizes I was a little stressed because it was more money than I had intended to spend, but then I was excited for some new adventures. AND THEN a few hours later I learned there was a problem with the system and I didn’t actually win! Now I’m upset about not having an excuse to do the activities I never wanted to do in the first place! Sigh.
🏀 March Madness begins this week and it’s all I plan on doing for many, many upcoming days. My bracket is already drafted but I’ll probably redo some pics. I love this time of year!
⛷ I took intermediate ski lessons on Friday afternoons over the last three weeks. SO MUCH FUN. The instructor fell multiple times on each run the first day (I guess skiing in powder isn’t her strong suit!); she accidentally led us down black diamond runs (“whoops!”); she never seemed to know where we were on the mountain; and her safety advice about tree wells was “you shouldn’t run into trees!”. She is the best. She led us down more difficult terrain than I would have been comfortable trying myself, made us all feel confident (even when we maybe shouldn’t have), and fostered such a friendly, fun environment. I learned quite a few things, but mostly I had a blast with the group of women I was skiing with.
❄ Last week I skied three times and went snowshoeing two times and did yoga three times… My body is feeling sore but also strong! I forced myself to take a rest/recovery day on Saturday and hated it.
Things I’m Into
📕 A few weeks ago I went to a Death Over Dinner discussion and one of the participants recommended the book “We All Want Impossible Things.” Gosh is it good. It is about a woman dying in hospice care and grief and friendship and life in general. Highly recommended!
📱 I play way too many word and geography games every day. The newest one from NYT is Strands and it’s a fun one!
💡 I have been drinking the “nojito” flavor of Spindrift nonstop. I keep craving it! Perfect sparkling water flavor for spring and summer.
⚽ Would you believe that soccer sign-ups for the fall (not summer, fall!) through Bend’s park district are at 6am this Wednesday?! What the actual heck?! I will be awake at 6am tomorrow to sign my kids up for swim lessons and on Wednesday for soccer. I’m yawning just thinking about it.
🧦 I bought my first pair of Bombas and didn’t like them. It turns out cotton makes my feet feel claustrophobic. BUT! It turns out Bombas makes wool socks so I’m exchanging them and we’ll see if the wool blends are better. Otherwise it’s back to Darn Tough and Smartwool brands I go!
📺 I’m watching Sex Education, again. Well not really “again” considering I never finished it the first time… I mean I’m continuing to watch it after taking a long break. I almost never watch TV except for sports, so it takes me forever to get through shows! This one’s a good one, though.
🎧 Two podcast episode recommendations both from the
podcast: Is Divorce Contagious? and this one about butts.This week is a mystery to me. Will I work? Will I ski? Will we watch more pups? Will my bracket survive the first round?! I’m excited about all of the possibilities.
OK, must run. The cleaners just arrived and I forgot they were coming even though I reminded Tim that they’d be here today…. Sigh. I now have to get my kitchen in order quickly!
I hope your week is off to a good start. ❤